Agile Zone is brought to you in partnership with:

Marc Löffler works as an Agile Coach with Sybit GmbH. Before getting in touch with agile methods and principles in 2006 he was working as a traditional project manager for companies like Volkswagen AG or Siemens AG. His passion is to help teams that are struggling with agile transitions and overcoming dysfunctional behaviour. He loves to generate new insights by approaching common problems from the other side and trying to deliberately make havoc of the process. Marc is a DZone MVB and is not an employee of DZone and has posted 13 posts at DZone. You can read more from them at their website. View Full User Profile

10 More Things to Drive Your Scrum Master Crazy

12.19.2013
| 7945 views |
  • submit to reddit

It’s been a long time since I wrote “10 things to drive your Scrum Master crazy” and it’s about time to give you some new weapons. So, here they are:

1. Hide the SM’s beloved moderation markers.

2. Play on your smartphone during the (planning) meetings, as long as they are not talking about YOUR tasks.

3. Always lament about the same things but don’t change anything.

4. Keep blaming and finger pointing everyone else except yourself for all the problems, you are only a victim.

5. Ignore all agile values as they don’t apply to you.

6. Simply ignore your Scrum Master, especially when he tries to coach you. Coaching is evil!

7. Ignore the findings from your latest retrospective because you have more important stuff to do.

8. Write as many things as possible on ONE post-it. Clustering is much more fun this way.

9. Don’t put your tasks on the sprint backlog. Your Scrum Master is an evil micro manager. I swear. Transparency sucks.

10. Ask your boss to put the Scrum values into the performance goals of every employee.

Published at DZone with permission of Marc Löffler, author and DZone MVB. (source)

(Note: Opinions expressed in this article and its replies are the opinions of their respective authors and not those of DZone, Inc.)